Margie hated going to the doctor. The biggest reason? The scale! Here’s how she explained it.
At home, my scale is becoming my friend. But in the doctor’s office, the scale is terrifying. I have to plan what I wear because I know it will become part of my “recorded weight.” I also make sure to empty my pockets and not wear any heavy jewelry. One doctor’s office keeps the scale in the middle of a busy hallway. Sometimes the staff members announce my weight loudly, which means other people can hear it.
I wish doctors would think more about how it feels to be weighed in public, especially for a woman. It’s one of my worst moments anywhere in life.
Avoiding the Doctor’s Scale
Most dieters agree that the most embarrassing place to get on a scale is at your doctor’s office. For one thing, you are usually fully clothed and wearing shoes. Appointments are often in the middle of the day, so the scale reading is typically different from your morning weight.
For some people, an aversion to the doctor’s scale becomes so strong that it keeps them from taking care of their health. Like most overweight people, Connie dreaded the doctor’s scale. So, for many years she simply avoided going to her doctor’s office.
I can’t even tell you how many annual physicals and ob/gyn appointments I have canceled because I didn’t want to face how overweight I was. I’ve been trying to stop risking my health because of my stupid fears about getting on the scale. But at the moment, I can’t get myself past the dread.
Even though physicians and their staff don’t intend to humiliate their patients, many people can’t escape feeling shamed and embarrassed about being weighed.
Phyllis told me, “It feels like an invasion of my most private information. They don’t make me take off my underwear in the middle of the hallway. But that’s exactly how it feels when I’m told to step on the scale.”
For some people, the doctor’s scale seems like cruel punishment. It screams how bad you’ve behaved and asks why you can’t seem to manage your weight better. But sometimes avoiding the scale can cause added risk to your health.
Until her recent heart attack, Angie had not gone to a doctor in more than 40 years. She said, “Being weighed at the doctor’s office always made me cry. So even if I was sick, I wouldn’t go to the doctor because I knew the staff would weigh me.” How sad to let a metal object hold control over your life and your health!
Manage the Doctor’s Scale
You may not realize this, but getting on the doctor’s scale is usually not necessary. In fact, most of the time a scale reading doesn’t provide the physician with any critical information.
We know that certain health problems require close monitoring of body fluid levels. This includes heart disease and some types of cancer as well as being on medications such as diuretics. But if you’re seeing the doctor for a bad cold or a twisted ankle, you may not have to be weighed.
The next time you go to your doctor’s office, instead of automatically stepping on the scale, ask whether your weight is important for that visit’s diagnosis or treatment plan. You might even explain you are working with a new program that recommends you stay in control by monitoring only a morning weight on your own scale.
The Magic Statement
Skipping the doctor’s scale may be a lot easier than you think. Here is a simple line that has worked for me at many doctor’s office appointments.
When a staff member asks me to step on the scale, I say, “I prefer to not be weighed today. Is that okay with you?”
Interestingly, I’ve not had any of the staff members insist I get on the scale. They usually say, “That’s fine.” If you want to keep the conversation even simpler, just say, “I decline.”
Even an annual physical shouldn’t necessarily require that you be weighed. On the day of your exam, be sure you step on your own scale in the morning, then ask the doctor to record that number as your current weight.
To build up your courage for avoiding the doctor’s scale, practice what to say ahead of time. Explain that you prefer to avoid using any scale except your own. Then say, “Here’s what my weight was this morning. Feel free to write it in my chart.”
You can also request to wait until after you’ve met with the doctor before getting on the scale. In many cases, you’ll be able to skip it entirely or at least negotiate what gets recorded in your chart.
Barbara decided to help educate her doctor about her weight loss. First, she asked to speak with the doctor before being weighed. In the exam room, she began the conversation with her physician by saying, “Let me fill you in on what I’ve been doing the past several months.”
Then she described her weight-loss plan, talked about all the things she was learning, and shared the amount of weight she had lost since the beginning of the year. The doctor was excited to learn about Barbara’s progress and never did insist she step on the scale.
When You Can’t Escape the Scale
Sometimes Medicare or insurance policies require that the physician obtain an accurate weight at every medical visit. So if you’re informed that getting on the scale is required, here are three options to consider:
• Offer the scale reading from your early morning weigh-in at home.
• Step on the scale but close your eyes or stand backwards so you can’t see the readout.
• Request that the staff member not tell you the number or say it out loud.
Regardless of how you negotiate with your doctor’s office staff, avoid getting caught up in scale games. Instead of pulling out your thinnest pair of summer shorts or an extremely lightweight outfit, wear normal, comfortable clothes and leave your shoes on. This will reinforce your new belief about ignoring scale readings other than your own at home.
Most importantly, let go of your fear and dread before you enter the doctor’s office. Then respond to the situation as an intelligent, confident adult. If you agree to step on the scale, avoid looking at the number or train yourself to ignore it entirely.
A bad week on your program certainly doesn’t change your value as a person. When Candice realized how much power she was giving the doctor’s office scale, she came up with a stronger way to manage it.
She said, “I want to walk into the doctor’s office feeling like a valid human being. Then I want to walk out feeling the same way. I’ve decided it’s up to me to take charge of the scale and not let it decrease my personal value.”
Managing Other Scales
What if you are participating in Weight Watchers, TOPS, or another plan that includes regular meetings or office visits? The protocol for most of these programs includes stepping on the scale at each meeting. How do you avoid letting the required weigh-in affect your new friendship with the scale?
Heather struggled with this a lot. During her weekly meetings at a medical clinic, she always dreaded getting on the scale. She lived in fear of having her weight number go up and being “scolded” by the staff for not doing a good job on her program.
Finally, she decided to change how she talked to the staff members. Regardless of her scale reading, Heather routinely began the conversation by saying, “Let me tell you about all the good things in my week.” As she described her successes, her scale number became less important.
Although you may need to follow the rules set by your weight-loss program, you can still be in charge of how you manage the scale.
First of all, before you get to the meeting, think about your goals regarding the weigh-in and have a clear idea of what you want. When it’s your turn to step on the scale, let the program staff know about your needs.
Here are a few ideas you might try that can work at almost any type of weight-loss meeting:
• Inform the staff person you don’t want to know the number on the scale.
• Request to be told only whether your number went up or down from the previous visit.
• Ask if it would be acceptable to weigh at home instead of at the meeting or program office, and then share that number for their records.
Remember, you own your weight. While it’s fine to get information from a program visit or doctor’s scale, it shouldn’t ruin your life. Instead of sinking into feeling shame, embarrassment, or humiliation, decide that you are in charge. Then manage the scales and numbers in your life with confidence and integrity.
Note: In the past few years, I’ve found that it’s gotten easier to stay off the scale at a doctor’s office. When the staff member asks me to get weighed, I say, “I don’t get on the scale.” Usually I add, “My weight this morning was …” and I give the number. Every single time the response has been, “That’s fine.”
Note: Because my book Friends with the Scale is going out of print next year, I decided to post it one chapter at a time. I’ve skipped some chapters so today is Chapter 15.