Grieving a loss without eating

About a month ago, Peppy died after a very brief illness. She was our sweet cocker spaniel and we loved her so much. She was 11 and ½ years old and she was such a good dog.

My husband and I were devastated and are still feeling sad when we think about her.

For some reason, her death made me turn to my old friends, cookies and ice cream, for comfort.

Eating those things made me feel better for about five minutes, but then I’d feel sad again.

I also used Peppy’s death as an excuse to stop exercising. So I skipped my walks and other healthy behaviors. Finally, I decided it had been long enough. I certainly wasn’t over my grief, but I knew it was tome to get back in charge of my life.

I’ve started back on daily walks (most days) and stopped eating cookies and ice cream (most days.) As time goes on, I’m getting better at managing my life instead of slipping into things that make feel comforted and nurtured.

All of you have been though losses in your lives. And while losing a pet is hard, it’s nothing compared to losing a loved one. That can be even more devastating during this time when you can’t even hold or attend a funeral.

Grief can be so painful and it’s easy to sink back into comforting behaviors such as eating. I believe that we need to allow ourselves some grace during times like these. But finally, you have to go back to taking care of yourself and your needs.

That doesn’t mean you have to be “over it.” But at some point, you have to stop allowing grief to be a barrier to healthy eating and exercise. Sometimes, even just taking a few small steps is all you need to get started back on the weight-management path.

In my own life, I decided to go back to a 5-Step plan I developed years ago that seems to always help me get back on track. This plan takes very little time but produces amazing results. The power comes from the completion of all five steps, so don’t skip any of them.

And while you don’t have to do them in any specific order, following the sequence will reset your brain patterns and give you better results.

The Five-Step Pull-up Plan

Step 1. Do tasks
Force yourself to do something. Choose mundane tasks that don’t require much thought or decision making.

Clear off your desk, sort the pile of old mail or magazine, clean out the coat closet or the junk drawer.

Sew on a button, iron a shirt, weed the garden. This is not a time to go shopping. Instead, pick something close by that doesn’t require a lot of mental effort.

Step 2. Make music
Pull out a great CD or playlist of your favorite inspiring or entertaining music. Crank it up loud, and let the sound flow into your body.

Or make your own music. Play the piano or guitar, even sing if you enjoy that. Soak up the music and allow it to heal your spirit.

Step 3. Get active
Walk, run, ride a bike, or do part of an aerobics or yoga tape. Dance in your living room or jump rope on the lawn. Find some way to move your body for at least ten minutes.

Step 4. Read a book
Choose one that doesn’t require any effort such as a novel, a biography or a book of poetry. Perhaps read the Bible or a related inspirational book.

Stay away from anything directed at self-help or personal improvement. The purpose here is to give your brain input, not make it do any work.

Step 5. Reflect
Sit in a quiet place and intentionally fill your mind with positive images or thoughts. Meditate, pray, or do a visualization exercise. Invite your worries to leave and peacefulness to fill its place.

Pull up often
When the clouds of grief settle over you, and makes you long for the soothing comfort of pies and cookies, pull out this list and repeat the five steps. Do this daily for a while if you need it.

Feeling down doesn’t mean you have to stay down. Use these steps regularly as a way to break through the clouds and move forward toward your goals in life.