Do you get the support you need from family members or friends?
Sometimes the people who should be helping us the most do things that make us mad instead of motivated.
They don’t intend to say the wrong thing. They simply don’t know how to be of help.
To get support instead of criticism from the people you love, you may have to train them. That includes being VERY specific about what you want and need.
Set up agreements with your support people by saying, “It will help me if…” followed by what you want them to do. Be sure you also let people know the things you DON’T want them to do or say.
Today’s assignment (my answers are in blue)
1. In the space below, write a list of things that people are always welcome to say or do in regard to your weight-loss efforts. Examples might include offer you compliments, protect you from dessert, or clear the table after meals.
It will help me if…(these are for my husband)
You skip having wine or beer in the loft at home for now
We don’t have ice cream in the house
You go to the gym every day and drag me along
(for my friend, Cheryl)
It will help me if we stop eating dessert when we go to lunch every week.
2. Create another list of things you don’t ever want people to do such as snatch your plate away, give you lectures, or admonish, “You’re not supposed to be eating that.”
I don’t want to be asked to choose restaurants every time we go out to eat. You (husband) know my low-carb guidelines.
Never say, “That outfit shows your weight a bit” or some other comment about how my clothes fit or make me look.
3. Read both lists to your support people including your spouse, your children, and your best friend. Write a note here about their response.
My husband said he understood completely and would try and do a better job of supporting my efforts. (Aren’t I lucky?)
My friend surprised me the most. She said, “Wow. I’ve been wishing we would stop eating dessert at lunch but I always thought YOU were the one who wanted it. I’m happy to skip it except for rare occasions.”
Excerpted from Day 8 in the book, 100 Days of Weight Loss