Another way to build emotional safety is to create habits or rituals that help you feel more settled.
Picture drinking a cup of tea next to the fireplace or by a favorite window.
Add a music player along with a good book and you’ll have created a nice ritual that you can do other times.
Think about your current rituals and notice how many of them involve food. You may need to replace some of your old ones with new patterns for times when you want to relieve stress, calm down, or heal your emotional needs.
If you tend to head for the cupboard after a bad day, catch yourself and instead, do a healing or relaxing ritual that will manage your stress or frustration in a better way.
This might include reading, listening to a favorite type of music, lighting candles, or going for a gentle walk.
When you travel, plan ways you can make yourself feel more at home in a hotel room or someone else’s house.
For example, tuck your favorite slippers into your suitcase and bring some photos of your loved ones to place on a bedside stand.
Perhaps bring along a few packets of your favorite tea along with a music player that has your favorite music for relaxing. Then use these items to create a sense of emotional safety, even when you’re way from home.
Today’s assignment (My answers are in blue)
1. Create a ritual or pattern you can use anytime you need to feel more settled or relaxed.
I’ve already told you that one of my favorite healing rituals involves having tea. First, I make a pot of tea and place it on the table next to a blue cushioned chair in my living room.
Then with soothing piano music in the background, I sip tea from a special china cup while I read a book or a recent magazine. It always works!
2. Describe what you’ll do, where you’ll do it, and what items you’ll include in this special time.
Pick out quiet instrumental music, usually piano. Make sure to have my china cup. Cut a protein bar into small pieces and enjoy it along with my tea.
3. At some point today, use a ritual that helps you feel nurtured, calmed, or energized. Write down what you did.
Most days, I take some type of “coffee or tea break” in the middle of the afternoon. I eat a healthy snack (usually a protein bar) and get away from the computer for at least 20 minutes. This always helps me feel nurtured as well as energized!
Excerpted from Day 77 in the book 100 Days of Weight Loss.