To get good support from others, you first have to determine what you want yourself.
Then you can tell your “helpers” exactly what you need or want.
In the quiz below, pick out the answers that fit best for you. It’s fine to choose several answers for each of the questions. If the suggested lines don’t exactly work for you, come up with different ones that match your needs.
1. If you see me eating something that’s not on my diet plan
• Ask me, “Should you be eating that?”
• Ignore it entirely
• Ask me if I’ve had a bad day
• Give me a hug
2. When I’m making progress, such as losing weight
• Compliment me on how I look
• Praise me in front of others
• Never comment on my progress in front of others
• Give me non-food gifts or rewards
3. When I’m struggling or gaining weight
• Tell me you notice and really care about my struggle
• Ignore it entirely
• Hug me and show me extra affection
• Ask me how you can help
4. When I’m making progress you can’t see (such as improving my self-esteem)
• Ask me how my efforts are going
• Compliment me on how I look
• Ignore my efforts and my changes
• Give me non-food gifts or rewards
5. When I’ve maintained my weight (even though I may still want to lose more)
• Tell me you are proud of my current efforts
• Ignore the subject entirely
• Ask me if I’m struggling or feeling discouraged
• Compliment me on my looks and my efforts
Today’s assignment (my answers are in blue)
1. Complete this quiz, and then read your answers out loud to one of your support people such as your spouse or a good friend.
Here are my answers for each of the questions. I read the whole list to my husband who was very kind and supportive. He was also a little surprised at a couple of them.
Question #1 – Ask me if I’ve had a bad day, give me a hug
Question #2 – Compliment me on how I look, Never comment on my progress in front of others, and give me non-food gifts or rewards
Question #3 – Ask me how you can help, Go to the gym with me.
Question #4 – Ask me how my efforts are going, Complement me on how I look, Give me non-food gifts or rewards.
Question #4 – Tell me you are proud of my current efforts, Ask me if I’m struggling or feeling discourage, Compliment me on my looks and my efforts.
2. Post your answers on your refrigerator or in some other location where your support people can be reminded of what you want.
I’ve copied the page and taped it to our refrigerator.
3. Write the most important answers below. Add any other answers or requests that fit your needs. Be sure to read these to your support people as well.
It helps me to have someone ask how I’m doing, even if I’ve been working on losing weight for quite a while. My family members are supportive, but sometimes forget how hard this is. I appreciate someone asking how I’m doing with my goals.
Excerpted from Day 9 in the book, 100 Days of Weight Loss