A year ago, I was walking regularly, following a healthy eating plan, and doing yoga stretches. Then one day, I stopped. My motivation was gone and I had no idea how to get it back.
I wanted to return to my healthy routines, but day after day, I would eat too much, skip my exercise, and worst of all, not care.
Why motivation leaves
Motivation is funny. Mine tends to disappear when I’m right in the middle of a good weight-loss or exercise plan. So what made it go away this time and why isn’t it coming back?
This past summer, I watched my older brother die slowly from cancer. Family members cared for him at home and every other week, my sister and I made the one-hour drive to check in.
We always felt so helpless. We couldn’t stop the progress of his disease or ease the emotional pain of those caring for him. We tried to help my family where we could, but most of the time, we could only be there for them and give them love.
As time dragged on, I felt like I was living under a cloud, and it zapped my energy as well as my motivation. I stopped taking daily walks, left my yoga mat under the bed, and made more trips to the ice cream shop.
I told myself I wanted to change, but I couldn’t seem to get out the door for a walk. And eating cookies and ice cream seemed easier than fixing a salad for dinner.
After my brother died last October, the low-motivation cloud began getting lighter. But it still took me a long time to change my actions.
Motivation is a choice
As a retired health educator and weight-loss coach, I know a lot about motivation. It’s the driving force that helps us stay on track with our goals, even during challenging times.
I finally decided to return to the skills I teach my clients.
First of all, I know that motivation isn’t permanent. We don’t “get it” and then not have to worry about it again. Instead, when it slips away, we have to rebuild and sustain it day after day.
Our drive and energy come from inside of us. We create motivation through our thoughts, our self-talk, and our attitudes.
Even when we don’t have a shred of energy, we can still access motivation if we want to.
Small steps make it work
Several years ago, a woman named Judy participated in one of my weight-loss groups.
At the beginning of the first session, Judy announced that she hated exercise! She didn’t like to sweat, she despised feeling stiff and sore, and she worried about getting short of breath.
At our weekly discussions, the group members always set an exercise goal for the following week. Because she hated exercise, Judy refused to participate in this activity.
The other members supported her decision and encouraged her to attend the group anyway. So week after week, Judy came to the meetings but skipped writing exercise goals.
One day, she quietly said, “I have an exercise bike at home in my bedroom. Maybe I could start using it a little.”
Immediately the group members encouraged her, “Great plan, Judy. Give it a try. Just do a small amount so you don’t lose your motivation.”
So Judy wrote on her goal sheet, “I will ride my exercise bike for one minute every day.”
The next week, we couldn’t wait to hear her report. “I did it!” she said. “Every day I rode the bike for one minute. I know I was accurate because I used my stopwatch!”
The week after that, Judy again reported success. Then she cautiously agreed to change her goal to two minutes a day.
Once again she was successful. Over the next few months, Judy gradually increased the bike riding time to five, then ten, and eventually 20 minutes a day.
A year later, this person who said she hated exercise had lost 40 pounds and was jogging two miles a day.
Judy told me, “I was so overwhelmed by the idea of exercising that I couldn’t start. Making that small goal helped me stay motivated instead of giving up.”
Do it when you don’t feel like it
Speaker and author Kate Whitledge says, “Motivation is a choice, not a feeling.” She adds, “We’ve all felt a lack of motivation at times. But if we want to accomplish our goals, our feelings need to be ignored.”
That idea helped me get my motivation back on track. I created signs that said, “Do it anyway!” Then I posted them on my refrigerator, my bathroom mirror, and my computer.
They remind me that even if I didn’t feel like it, I should do my healthy behaviors anyway.
Next, I made a chart for tracking my exercise. Since the holidays, I have logged ten days of walking on my treadmill.
I’ve also been eating healthier foods and occasionally doing my yoga stretches.
I feel better and have more energy than a few months ago, and that helps me stay motivated day after day.
Do it anyway!
I realized that when I don’t feel like doing my healthy behaviors, that’s usually when I need them the most.
So these days, I remind myself that it’s important to follow my plans, no matter what.
And on days I don’t feel motivated, I do it anyway!