It was a beautiful day. As sunlight streamed through her windows, Janet pulled her favorite outfit from the closet. The black pants zipped easily at her waist and the silky jade top showed her toned arms and her nearly flat stomach.
As she fluffed her hair and put on her earrings, Janet started planning. “Let’s see… how will I do my joy work today? I think I’ll start right now by eating my usual breakfast before I get into the car and head to work.
Then I’ll walk in the park at lunch, eat an apple for my snack and stop at the gym on the way home. In fact, I’ll put everything I need into my workout bag and set it by the front door so I don’t forget to take it along.
The challenge
It wasn’t always this way. Just three years ago Janet top the scales at 324 pounds. She had tried every diet, spent time at a spa and hired a personal trainer. With each weight loss effort, she would lose a bunch of weight, but with in a few months her weight would go back up. Her worst experience came the year she lost 100 pounds but gained it back the following year.
When Janet came to my weight-loss clinic two years, she was ready to give up on everything, including losing weight. But somehow, she kept working on it and she stuck with her new program until she reached her goal weight.
When she left my clinic program, she felt confident she was ready to live in a way that would maintain her success.
What she did
I hadn’t seen Janet for almost two years and as she sat in my office today, I was amazed at the vibrant healthy woman she had become. During our visit, Janet reminded me of her long history of struggles with her weight and her life.
“What changed?” I asked. “How did you finally reach the point where you were able to lose that much weight and stay at your goal?”
Janet thought for a moment, then replied, “I finally got it. Long-term success isn’t about never gaining weight back. Instead, it’s about living every day in an attitude of learning, seeking and living my program.”
She continued, “It’s not easy or simple. Instead, it’s daily. But during my coaching program, you showed me how to live under the umbrella of my own power. So instead of dreading the challenges of my life, I bounce out the door each morning, ready to do my joy work.”
Life challenges
Suppose you were trying to improve your parenting skills, so you read some books and took a parenting class. As a result, your home began to run a lot smoother and the kids acted happier.
But on Tuesday, after being “good” all day, you got worn down by the stress at work. Then you tripped over the back pack in the middle of the hall even though you’ve told them so many times to put those away as soon as they get home!
Suddenly, you’ve had it, and you yell a few nasty commands at those darling children. Whoops! That wasn’t part of your new approach. Now what do you do?
You quickly pull up your new parenting guidelines to figure out your next move, and within moments, you are feeling calm and back in control.
What you do NOT do
In your improved plan, you don’t do a “yelling binge” and scream at the kids for the rest of the evening. You also don’t punish yourself for being “bad.” That means you don’t crawl into bed and review your childhood to figure out why you screwed up.
Instead, you run a quick analysis of your day and easily figure out why you lost your temper. You came home feeling exhausted, worried and stressed, and the kids became the target. But instead of blaming them, you recognize you need to take care of your own stuff. And as you do your “parenting work,” you decide to explore a new plan for the backpack issue.
The power of joy work
Over my years of coaching weight-loss clients, I’ve started using the phrase “do your work” as a way to frame the healthy patterns and actions that create long-term success.
But for some of my clients, this felt like drudgery. So to lighten up the phrase and make it more fun, I added the word joy. So now people had to describe doing their joy work. My clients loved it and found that it made their efforts more appealing.
I define joy work as all the positive actions and thoughts that contribute to managing your weight and living on a healthy road. It also includes all the steps and actions you take to stay on the path to your goals.
Joy work provides the umbrella for your efforts and it pops up at intervals throughout your day. You can apply it to planned events such as exercising after work. Or you might use it to prevent a spontaneous reaction when gooey brownies show up in the break room.
Starting today, look for places where you can slip joy work into your day. Then in the days and weeks ahead, notice how much stronger you become as you strive to reach your weight-loss goals.