No more sabotage!
Just when you thought your diet was going great, things start to go wrong. Instead of giving you flowers on your birthday, your spouse hands you a large box of chocolates.
Then, in the middle of your favorite TV program, your kids rip open a bag of potato chips, plunk them down on the coffee table in front of you and ask, “Want some?”
What ever happened to getting support for your weight-loss efforts? While they might not see it that way, people who wave tempting food in front of you are sabotaging your efforts to lose weight or stop emotional eating.
As you continue on your weight-loss journey, you may discover that sabotage has become a significant barrier to your success. Sabotage includes any activities or comments that undermine your efforts or prevent you from making progress.
Never condone or ignore sabotage. When someone clearly demonstrates sabotaging behavior, call it for what it is. But rather than accusing the other person, seek information.
Find out if your partner feels threatened by the “new you.” Discuss your concerns by saying, “I don’t understand your reason for tempting me with a box of chocolates.”
Here’s what I need…
Give clear instructions on the type of help you want. Instead of saying, “Please help me lose weight” or “Be nicer to me,” clarify what you mean.
Do you want your family members to eat their snacks in another room instead of in front of you? Then let them know.
With specific requests, start by saying, “It will help me if…” followed by what you want people to do. For example, you might say, “It will help me to not have chips in the house right now. Would you be willing to eat them with your lunch at work instead of bringing them home?”
When you encounter someone who says hurtful or insensitive things, deflect the comments rather than take them personally. You might say, “I need your help, not your scolding.” Or you might simply agree by responding, “You may be right,” then talking about something else.
If someone criticizes the way you are eating or the fact you aren’t losing weight, thank them for being concerned. Then say, “I’m actually working on a lot of issues in my life right now and my weight is only one of them.”
No one can make someone else lose weight or stop emotional eating. If your helpers get impatient during times when you are struggling, offer them guidance on how to give support when you aren’t doing well.
Let them know it’s not their fault—they aren’t responsible for you making changes in your life. Appreciate their concern by saying, “It’s so nice to know that when I’m ready to work on this, you’ll be here for me.”
Create a “toolbox”
Whether you like it or not. it’s your job to manage situations where you are dealing with food pushers. Instead of feeling angry or frustrated at the potential saboteurs, keep a mental toolbox of tricks you can pull out at a moment’s notice.
Here are some things to include in your toolbox.
Use the magic phrase
Anytime you feel pressured to eat something not on your diet, tell the food pusher, “Not just yet. I’m going to wait a little while.”
If they ask again, just repeat this phrase or some variation of it. “Thanks, but I’ll still wait a bit.” Because it appears you’ll eat eventually, people will usually leave you alone.
Don’t talk about it
Avoid troublesome diet discussions by saying, “My weight-loss counselor said I shouldn’t talk about my program because it makes me want to eat.” This prevents revealing details about your plan or the amount of weight you’ve lost.
Blame your doctor
Say things such as, “My doctor has me on a special food plan right now because of my stomach (or heart, cholesterol, etc.) So I’m sorry but I’ll need to avoid a couple of things in this meal.
Sabotage happens only if you allow it. Even if someone is intentionally trying to make you slip up, stay strong and committed to your plan. Remember that your goals are more important than pleasing people.
Remind yourself that you are determined to live at a healthy weight and that you value that outcome more than being part of a crowd.
The road to overcoming emotional eating becomes a lot smoother once you get past the behaviors that harm your progress.
Keep watching for any signs of sabotage, both from others as well as yourself. If you recognize sabotaging behavior, deflect it and don’t allow it to stop your efforts.
Today: Read Chapter 10 in Life is Hard, Food is Easy, then work on the exercises in that chapter.
Use your own notebook or journal to record what your thoughts and insights.