What’s in my way?
We’ve all said it: I know what to do, I just don’t do it!
Just like the dog in the photo, we do the opposite of what we intend to do. Regardless of how long we’ve worked on managing our weight, we still have times when things get in our way.
In fact, as I read through this week’s chapter, I decided it was too big to tackle in one lesson. So I am dividing the discussion into two parts. We’ll cover half the chapter this week, and finish the rest of it next week.
Also, because this chapter is so critical to success for all of us, I decided to include a link to the entire chapter so you can read all of it. Click here to download and print Chapter 9.
Part 1: Simple barriers
Whenever you slip back into emotional eating, your first inclination is to explain why it wasn’t your fault—you were way too busy, your sister is getting a divorce, or you had to work overtime.
These sound like legitimate excuses. But did they really have to block you from eating right or exercising?
These simple barriers don’t involve a lot of psychological issues. But sometimes they are just enough to throw you off target and make you reach for food.
When you hit simple barriers such as being tired or getting a bad attitude, take a few quick actions to side-step what’s in your way instead of letting it get you into eating trouble.
Here is a list of the most common excuses for letting go of your weight-loss goals:
• I’m tired, I’m busy, I’m stressed out
• I don’t feel like it
• It’s too hard
Some of the other excused or barriers aren’t as obvious. In fact, sometimes, they Here are a few “hidden” barriers.
• Ambivalence, not sure it matters a lot
• Fear of being deprived or left out
• No one takes care of me
• Things in my life are too painful to face
None of these barriers have simple answers. They all take effort, sometimes even just to recognize them. But when you look at each of them individually, you can begin to see solutions that anyone can do.
When you realize that you are using any of these excuses, go back to the simple solutions that have worked in the past. Here are some easy ones:
I’m tired, busy, stressed out – take a few slow deep breaths, get grounded again, then tackle things one at a time. Maybe the first one is to take a nap.
I don’t feel like it – remember that you do a lot of things you don’t feel like (going to work, cleaning your home, caring for crabby children or family members.) Just like you might for any of these things, tell yourself, “Do it anyway.”
It’s too hard – Remind yourself that you’ve done a lot of hard things in your life and you can do this too. Tell yourself: I can do hard things.
Ambivalence, not sure it matters – remember WHY you are working on managing your weight. Decide that you want the outcome of all of your reasons WHY, and that it really does matter to you.
Fear of being deprived – you deprive yourself of a lot of things in life, such as going to work instead of to the beach, paying your bills instead of buying bigger toys. You do those things because you want the outcomes, such as keeping your job and avoiding bill collectors.
Also, ask yourself, “What does my weight deprive me of?” Write a list and then decide you don’t want those things to stay in your life.
No one takes care of me – that’s true, but it’s also not new. As an adult, you have to take care of yourself, even when you don’t feel like it.
Things are too painful to face – there will be times when this is true, and all you can do is be patient and wait for healing of grief or emotional pain. But don’t let yourself get stuck, and quit working on this. Write in a journal, talk to a counselor or trusted friend, and move forward until you can manage your emotions without using food to push them away.
Today: Read Chapter 9 in Life is Hard, Food is Easy, then work on the exercises in that chapter. Use your own notebook or journal to record what your thoughts and insights.
Next week, I will cover the barriers of people and perfectionism.