How to figure out what you are feeling
On the left side of a piece of paper, write the words, I feel, and on the right side write, because of. Choose a situation or event to explore and in the left column, write a word to describe how you feel about it.
Here are my answers to three questions that help decide what you feel..
I have used this exercise many times over the years and always found it extremely helpful. Here’s one of my favorite ones from a time when Bill, an employee lost a bunch of checks that were payments for products and services. I was so upset at Bill that I wanted to scream and yell. But writing my feelings down entirely changed my response.
2. Do the “I feel, because of” exercise and come up with several more emotion words.
• Furious, you losing the checks
• Disappointed, you not being more thorough
• Livid, you waited three days to tell me
• Hurt, you didn’t trust me enough to tell right away
• Humiliated, I have to call all the customers bout this
• Worried, I don’t even know whose checks were in the group
• Uneasy , someone may try to cash them
• Distraught, people may need to stop payment on the checks
• Sad, this changes our work relationship
• Nervous, I don’t now whether to fire you or not
• Caring, about you and your family
• Uncomfortable, I don’t want to bring harm to you.
• Determined, I want to keep our work relationship strong
• Appreciative, how hard you work at your job.
The funny thing was that when he went back to his desk, he discovered the missing checks had slipped behind some items and got stuck in the back of the desk drawer.